No, drunk sperm still make babies.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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