He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my sisters under your porch take her home
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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