why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
