Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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