I'm eating all of the evidence.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
