I think i peed on brittanys purse
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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