Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize