Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
