Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i out mim tonsoeep
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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