This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
