come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
