you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
