I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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