"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
