So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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