I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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