Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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