I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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