Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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