Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
