Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
