So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
