I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
