that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
