everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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