Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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