Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
