: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
