On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize