Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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