Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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