I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
"it" just moved
im holly from the hills drunk
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
