Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
