i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
this will be a night to untag.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
