I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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