you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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