i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
