dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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