Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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