you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
