People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We are all done wearing pants today
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize