I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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