Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize