It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
