Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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