he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Let's get the cat blown out
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
