It's like a parade of train wrecks.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
