We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
