Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize