He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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