Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
