after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
