So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
