Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
