Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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