So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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