like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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