let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
