WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
